Where Are We, Family?
Verses Used:
John 13:34–35
Romans 12:10
Romans 15:7
Galatians 3:26
Hebrews 13:2
James 2:1–4
Acts 2:41–47
Devotional:
I want to start this by making something very clear. I am in no way trying to bash any particular church. I am not judging people for being people either. I am a human too, and trust me, I have plenty of things God is still working on in me.
But lately I keep coming back to one question:
Where are we, family?
As believers in Jesus, we aren't just a bunch of strangers who happen to show up at the same building on Sunday morning. Galatians 3:26 says that through faith in Christ Jesus, we are all children of God. We are brothers and sisters in Christ.
Jesus said in John 13:34–35 that people would know we are God’s disciples by the way we love one another.
So shouldn't that love be noticeable when someone new walks through the door?
Over the past five years, I have visited several churches trying to find what I would call my “home” church. And honestly, more than once I have walked into a lobby with a hundred or more people around me and somehow still felt completely alone.
Nobody said hello.
Nobody asked if I was new.
Nobody asked if I needed help finding something.
Now, I understand. In a big church, you can't possibly know everybody. People are catching up with friends. Volunteers are busy. Families are trying to get kids where they need to go. People have things on their minds.
I get it.
But shouldn't we still notice each other?
You Don't Know What It Took
Here is where I admit my own struggle.
I have anxiety. God has been working me through it, and I am much better than I used to be. But walking into a brand-new place where I am hoping maybe, eventually, I could call home?
Yeah... that's nerve-racking for me.
Especially because part of the reason I walked away from church more than twenty years ago was because of hypocrisy and judgment I experienced from people in church.
Those things left wounds.
But I have learned something important: I cannot blame Jesus for the failures of people who represent Jesus imperfectly.
People failed me.
Jesus didn't.
At the same time, those experiences have made me realize something else.
We have absolutely no idea what it took for the person standing alone in the church lobby to walk through those doors.
Maybe they're dealing with anxiety.
Maybe they haven't been inside a church for twenty years.
Maybe somebody claiming to represent Jesus hurt them badly.
Maybe their marriage is falling apart.
Maybe they're grieving.
Maybe they're fighting an addiction nobody knows about.
Maybe they sat in their car for twenty minutes arguing with themselves about whether they should even come inside.
And now they're standing there alone wondering:
“Did I make a mistake coming here?”
A simple “Hey, I don't think we've met. Are you new here?” could mean more than we realize.
Romans 15:7 tells us to accept each other just as Christ accepted us. Hebrews 13:2 reminds us not to forget about showing hospitality to strangers.
Sometimes loving people really is that simple.
Notice them.
But Here Comes My Part
Now I could stop right there and make this entire devotional about what everybody else should be doing.
The greeter should have greeted me.
Someone should have noticed me.
The pastor should have talked longer.
Someone should have introduced themselves.
But then God turns that mirror around.
What about me?
Romans 12:10 tells us to love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.
That verse wasn't written only for the people already inside the church when I arrive.
It's for me too.
So maybe sometimes instead of standing there thinking, “Why isn't anybody talking to me?” I need to walk up to somebody and say:
“Hi. I'm new here.”
And trust me, with anxiety, that's easier to type than it is to actually do.
But maybe that's part of my growth too.
Maybe someone else standing across that lobby is thinking the exact same thing I am.
Maybe they're waiting for me to say hello.
That's where this started convicting me.
Sometimes they should. Sometimes I should.
Finding Home Again
Recently I visited another church.
When I walked in, nobody immediately came running over to introduce themselves. I actually went to the welcome desk and introduced myself.
But the woman there was incredibly friendly. She welcomed me, showed me around, and helped me know where things were.
During the service, people spoke to me.
Afterward, I noticed something else. The pastor wasn't standing at the door making everyone feel like they needed to keep moving. He was in the lobby talking with people and walking around.
I still had to force myself to go say hello.
But when I did, I didn't feel rushed out.
And I'm going back.
Actually, I feel pulled toward this church.
There is another church nearby I want to visit too. Funny enough, they're on the same road, and I've even heard of people attending both.
I love that.
Although personally, I still believe there is something valuable about eventually having a home church—a church family where you aren't simply attending, but where you are known, growing, serving, and doing life with other believers.
I'm still looking.
Maybe I'm getting closer.
But God is teaching me something while I'm looking.
Finding community isn't always about waiting for everybody else to make the first move.
Big Isn't The Problem
I am not against big churches.
Not even a little bit.
Acts 2:41 tells us about 3,000 people were added to the believers after Peter preached at Pentecost. The early Church experienced some serious growth.
And honestly, a growing church can be an incredible blessing.
More people can mean more resources to feed people, help families, serve communities, support missions, reach people who don't know Jesus, and do exactly the kind of community work you all already know I am passionate about.
Growth isn't the problem.
But here's what Acts 2:42–47 also shows us: as the Church grew, people still did life together.
They learned together.
They ate together.
They prayed together.
They helped each other.
People still mattered.
Whether a church has 30 people or 3,000 people, we can never allow people to become numbers.
And hospitality cannot just be the pastor's job.
The pastor should care.
The greeters should greet.
The welcome team should welcome.
But the Church isn't just the pastor and the volunteers wearing name tags.
We are the Church.
That means this responsibility belongs to me too.
Church Is For Broken People
Here's what I keep coming back to.
Church should be more like a hospital than a showroom for perfect people.
People walk into hospitals because something isn't right.
They hurt.
They're scared.
They need help.
They need healing.
Nobody walks into the emergency room and says, “Excuse me, why are there sick people in here?”
That's literally why they're there.
And church should be a place where broken, hurting, confused, struggling, sinful people can come and meet Jesus.
Side note...
There are NO perfect people on this earth.
Not the person walking through the doors for the first time.
Not the person who has attended for thirty years.
Not the greeter.
Not the worship leader.
Not the pastor.
And definitely not me.
We all need Jesus.
So no, this isn't me beating up churches for being imperfect.
This is me saying:
Family, we can do better.
And I am putting myself right there in that sentence.
Next Sunday, look around.
Don't only look for your friends.
Look for the person standing alone.
Look for the person wandering around with that “I have absolutely no idea where I'm supposed to go” look on their face.
Go say hello.
And if you're that person standing alone?
Maybe do what I am learning to do.
Take the uncomfortable step.
“Hey, I'm new here.”
See where it goes.
Because maybe somebody needs to welcome me.
And maybe somebody needs me to welcome them.
Jesus said people would recognize us by our love for one another.
Let's make sure that love can be seen before the sermon ever starts.
Let's make sure somebody who finally worked up enough courage to walk through the doors doesn't leave believing nobody noticed they came.
The Church isn't a building full of perfect people.
Thank God for that, because none of us would qualify.
It's supposed to be a family of imperfect people following a perfect Savior.
So...
Where are we, family?
And more importantly:
Who are we going to notice this Sunday?
Prayer:
God, help me notice people.
It's easy for me to see the times when I feel overlooked, but help me also see the people I may be overlooking.
Heal the wounds I still carry from past experiences with church, and don't let the failures of people become a wall between me and the community You want for me.
Give me courage when I'm the new person standing alone. Give me even more courage to walk across the room when I see somebody else standing alone.
Help our churches be places where hurting people can come as they are, hear the truth, experience grace, and meet Jesus.
Teach us to actually live like family.
In Jesus' name, amen.
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